Peices of Heart
by Sinful Rose
Summary: A chain of thoughts I've written as episodes .. No main pairs so plz R
1. Episode 1: Falling Into The Depth

**Falling Into the Depth **

_Have you ever had the feeling that you kept falling to the unknown ? Asking yourself , what happened to me ? How did I end up here ? I never thought that I would until I tried to … This is what happened to me …. _

It all started like any normal day , same routine as everyday , same faces I see everyday but today was different … His face wasn't like anyone , his looks was different … Who is he ? Why Am I looking at him ? I took another glance to paint his portrait in my mind but his eyes turned to me . I felt suddenly everything stopped , the time stopped , everyone suddenly faded away … Just me and him , looking at each other . His eyes hypnotized me , I couldn't look away … drowning slowly inside his deep eye … I turned my face away . I started panting like I was really drowning , I couldn't look again to him …. What's happening to me ?

As I returned home , I found myself thinking about him . His face and figure is carved inside my deepest part of my mind . His eyes were so deep …. What's going on ? How did I end up thinking of him ?

Days passed by , I found myself longing to see his eyes again . I wanted to fall again inside his eyes , I wanted to feel that feeling again . I wanted to see him …. And I did … Again I fell into his eyes , everyone faded again … Why is this happening to me ?

Is this love ? Is this how you feel ? …. My heart ponders whenever he's around … I could swear that he keeps glancing at me … Is he feeling the same ? Am I in love ?

I tried to push that thought away from my head … There's no way that I can love someone from the first glance … I fled away to my sanctuary , purifying my mind from those thoughts but I couldn't …. His eyes kept carved inside , his voice was echoing inside my ears … Why can't you get off my mind ? Why can't I forget you like mere memory ? Push a side to the corner ? How did you get carved in me ?

I walked away to my darkest road … I didn't want to see him again but suddenly I found him standing there …. I lowered my head and tried to calm down my heart …. He approached to me , my heart raced and I tried to swallow it in …. He put his finger under my chin and raised my face to his face … I drowned again inside his eyes when he whispered to me _'I love you'_

I widened my eyes as he planted a kiss on my forehead then smiled to me …. I felt like my tears would burst from my eyelids and flow to my cheeks … He held my hand and walked with me … To the endless road we chose ….

_Yes …. Love is a mystery … You can't tell that you're falling unless you feel it … Even heartless human would fall in it … Love … What's that ? Such a wonderful feeling ? Or just a name ? _

_--_

**This fic is based on reality ….It happened to my best friend so I decided to write it **

**Please R&R **


	2. Episode 2: The Portrait

Through the flickering dim light of the candles surrounded me, I looked at you. That portrait that I couldn't remove from my memory walls. Blood slowly flooded from above where I found myself drowning while you're still looking at me in that portrait, chained down with chains of what I called my first love when my arms were spread on the wall with two stakes stabbed in my palms, named Addiction and Attraction. If I tried to move, it hurts. It pained me for not looking at that portrait at least once that kept gazing at me with that smile … weakens me more and more

Maybe the way illusions played with my mind led me to this insanity where sweet love melody pleases my ears, when I was blind didn't see how badly I went down to this dungeon and got lost by the name of love. I hated the fact I was in love, how weak I got, that I couldn't stand on my own. And here am I … broken … chained … drowning … and you're still looking at me with that smile … how you want me to forget those carved memories of you when I loved them ? I closed my eyes, reminiscent by laughter … joy … your voice that I never forgot. Inhaling the fumes of guilt of a lifetime of regret, and it's heavy … so silent … Everything shattered …

Then why am I still chained ? I want to break free from this dungeon you kept me in, I want to stop looking at those eyes in that portrait in front of me, I want to break those chains but I can't … I'm still addicted to that toxic you fed me everyday …I opened my eyes to that bitter truth that I tasted every night. I, no longer been that person who felt love … I felt betrayal when I blindfolded my eyes and let you lead me in this dungeon. I hate loving you but … I couldn't hate you.

A figure approached me when I was at my weakest form, who are you ? When that angelic figure offered a hand … Could I ever trust again ? 'Trust me' is all I wanted to hear but I still held back … That angelic figure removed the chains and stakes off my shattered, crushed body and held me tight … I felt warmth again, that I was longing to feel … That desire that slowly lit like the candles around me … Save me … I stood up while I held that hand, taking a step of trust. I looked at your portrait again … Taking a deep breath with my hand held tightly with my savior … I'll never be a prisoner in your dungeon again.

Here am I … back again in that dungeon … looking at your portrait … how you been ? it's been a while … I approached it and held it with me hands when my heart raced as those eyes went through me again … holding a candle in one hand … I burned you, same way you burned my heart … I watched it burn you while it was still silence, I heard your scream of pain … Did you know how much I screamed like that ? I threw it in the ground, been eaten by fire … how does it feel ?

I walked away … my savior held my hands we walked to the new journey …

"How strong do you need to be to come above all your deepest, disastrous inner demons ? There's nothing harder than overcoming yourself"


	3. Episode 3: Purity

_Who am I living for?_

_The cloudy days pass me by_

_This weakness, this pain_

A cloud passed by the dark night sky, spitting its way through sea of clouds above. I sat on the edge of the roof, just longing to stay close to the sky where I gazed every night, alone up there. The wind slowly brushed my cheeks when I closed my eyes started to remember ... But I never asked myself if I really wanted to remember. I gazed down at the roads where lights were lit brightly that you can see it from above but as I went further above, darkness begins to shade my surroundings and yet I never get drowned in it. I accepted that I was embraced by darkness as I became a part of it, just a faded shadow gazing to the infinite night sky.

_Do I feel all of it, or just a little?_

_I drowned myself in memories, but it didn't help._

_So I'll start living for today._

_But even if I'm a bit lost_

My confession became a sigh, I breathed everyday. I wonder if sadness is something that will someday disappear... Before dawn, the twinkling stars vanished. I wonder are they really gone,

Or will they be back tomorrow? I began to wonder as this world race when you can't feel what's around you anymore ... Why should I care anyways?

_What should I believe in?_

_My life flies past me and I don't even know it._

_No matter what the night brings,_

_Please, don't frown_

Turning my head when I heard nearby footsteps from behind, I smiled when I saw that grin of yours. I knew I wasn't forcing myself to do so because I was certain of my feelings for you ... You were the one I desired to find … That I would turn around and find love standing there …

_Everyone has happy faces and voices,_

_I wonder if I can see them._

_But even if I can't laugh_

_I've found my courage at last._

_I saw your red eyes and I tried to laugh._

I wonder if these days will continue like this forever. The cloudless starry sky continues above us … Your hand holds mine tightly … just your warmth flows to me, makes me feel happy even in hard times … maybe because I already I knew the pain of love and for the first time my tears flowed for someone else's sake .. . I found your fingers wipe my tears as you embraced me tight and said "I'll never leave you no matter what happens … I love you" when I found myself being embraced in your warm chest ... I smiled … I was happy ... I'm still happy … You were really my love that I was longing to find … I love you

_I wonder if we've come to believe in something_

_Since then..._

_Beyond the night sky_

_Tomorrow is already waiting _


	4. Episode 4: Insomnia

Dark curtains fell down on this theater of life. It's just a time of this encore lifespan that freezes during the darkness hours. Maybe it's a desire to keep staring at that endless black forest of despair, where hidden emotions and feelings take a form of inner demons dying to get unleashed. It may be peaceful and restful to some people but they never heard the whispers of the night, a sweet melody of bittersweet sonata played with the moon piano on that theater.

Sleepless souls walk aimlessly to this parade held by dreams bled from venom, led to this theater to the everlasting Insomnia. Moon changes to crimson as it feeds on the fears of weak souls, dreams collide between reality and imagination where souls have a side no one should see. Desperately trying to hide that side they get absorbed into the night darkness, finding a way out to the light …

Words that you never thought you'd say … Mistakes that you never thought you'd make … Caught up in a storm … Storm of your persona, controlled by ego … listening to the sonata on the lunar piano .. The recital of dreams, suffering and bleeding of the soul's hidden pain.

As the melody changes of that broken lullaby of the moon, you face the dawn … New day arises, slowly the souls rest in their sanctuary, playing the last chords of Insomnia Sonata.

"_Though you reach the murk and the gloom to grasp something, you'll know that the strength of heart required facing oneself soul" _


End file.
